Marc is depressed. He is mourning the farm and his “normal physique.” It compounds his pain to have to live with his father’s constant reproaches. Because of Marc’s “carelessness,” there is no-one to take over the farm. His father repeats that he “slaved for HIS son, and today he has to give up on HIS dreams.” He holds Marc responsible for all the family’s ills. He has never shared with his son that he feels bad for him.

For the past decade or so, succession problems have been a subject of discussion: it’s terrible not to have a successor, or it’s terrible to have one. But what’s so bad about it?

When a farmer (parent) is pessimistic over a period of years, the successor is discouraged and understands very well that for him or here, there is no future, and yes, that is terrible.
When the debt load is heavy, the revenue potential is low or the parents’ appetite is so large that it harms any transfer, yes, it is terrible.

When children become discouraged as a result of being forced to work endless hours on the farm, when the business stole their childhood or their parents, and as a result they do not want anything to do with farming, yes, it is terrible.

Or, like Marc’s father, when there is more concern for business succession than there is for the children’s wellbeing, that, too, is terrible.

Is it possible for our boys or girls to be passionate about another profession, despite a good family environment, optimistic parents and a healthy financial situation? Yes.

As in all professions, to succeed in agriculture, both talent and passion are required. Every doctor’s child is not necessarily drawn to medicine. And this is not such a bad thing.

Sometimes, a farmer tells me he built a new stable and bought 40 kilos for the successor, a successor who is barely 12 years old, sometimes as young as two. This same farmer tells his children over and over that it is for them that he re-invests and works so hard. Dear farmers and parents, be aware that you are doing this for yourself. You are following your own dream. With this type of discussion, we can understand why some young people feel obligated to be successors.
Would we be ready, as parents, to invest the same energy and resources so that our children can own an automobile garage or an art gallery, or to become an actor, singer or dentist, if they were really passionate about it?

Loving our children means wanting the best for them. It means encouraging them in what they truly want, in their passion. Loving our children means leaving them free to choose their lives as adults.
Loving our children means wanting the best for them and that means leaving them free to choose their lives as adults.

By Pierrette Desrosiers, M.Ps.

Work psychologist, speaker and business coach

pierrette@pierrettedesrosiers.com
www.pierrettedesrosiers.com