A change of perspective

A positive attitude can help us address a difficult situation proactively.

As human beings, we are responsible for our own destiny. Our behaviour is dictated by our decisions, not by our living conditions. Does this statement seem hard to swallow? This premise is at the base of the concept of proactivity. Studies show that proactive people are healthier, claim to be happier and enjoy better relationships.

Proactive people know themselves well.

They also know their values and missions. They have a life plans and have set goals for themselves in all areas of their lives (work, spirituality, personal life, family life, spousal life). They have a sense of control over their lives. Their sources of motivation, standards and values come from within. They invest in their relationships and are better able to prevent conflicts. Proactive people come up with solutions to problems without creating additional issues. They will pass over opportunities that are not compatible with their overall life vision. They choose actions that will have influence. Proactive people generally spend most of their time dealing with non-urgent but important matters.

Reactive people are often affected by their physical environment.

When things are going well, they see life through rose-coloured glasses , but difficult times give them the blues. Trends and the opinions of others influence them tremendously. Their emotional state is greatly affected by how the people around them behave. To a large extent, reactive people blame others for their mental state. For example, a reactive person might say, “I’m in a bad mood because my dad insulted me.” Reactive people react to requests and crisis situations, but do not foresee problems. For example, they will react only when their associate or spouse threatens to leave them. Their motivations come primarily from external sources. They invest their time in urgent but unimportant matters.

Passive people have never reacted, or have given it up. They do not have goals or life projects. They see themselves as victims, without motivation or support. These people, while complaining about the neighbour, the government, the past and their spouses, do absolutely nothing to improve their lives. They invest the vast majority of their time in non‑urgent and unimportant matters.

Why should we become more proactive? It can help us endure extreme pressure during trying times. Thanks to a proactive attitude, we can address various unpleasant situations (such as mad cow disease, a bad hay crop or even a conflict with our teenager) in many different ways.

Although it is true that some incidents can affect us physically or financially and cause us harm, we should never let them influence our personality and identity.

We need to consider our problems from a different perspective.  We need to focus our energy on appropriate solutions. We need to accept the things we cannot change, change the things we can, and cultivate the wisdom to know the difference.

Pierrette Desrosiers, M.Ps.

Work psychologist, speaker and business coach

pierrettedesrosierspsycoaching.com

pierrette@pierrettedesrosiers.com

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