Managing your emotions: who is managing your business?
by PIERRETTE DESROSIERS, M. Ps.,
Work psychologist, conference speaker, work coach
Losing control of your emotions always works against you. How many times have you regretted words, actions or decisions once the emotion has passed? If you are often in the grip of strong emotions (anger, sarcasm, hostility) and you are unaware, three things can happen:
- Physiologically, you are at risk of developing significant health problems such as irregular blood pressure, ulcers and even coronary artery disease.
- You will cause emotional damage to those around you without being aware of it (spouse, children, associates, employees, suppliers).
- Your management abilities will be affected and your business will suffer. During intense emotions, your intellectual abilities are greatly diminished.
In the grip of emotion, your judgment is altered. You are deprived of your ability to reason, plan and assess the consequences from various angles. In sum, you are deprived of your intelligence. It is thus important to recognize your emotions and then take action to learn to better manage them. Healthy business management is impossible without healthy emotional management.
The person in the grip of a compulsion is focussed on the immediate emotional consequences of their action (relief of the emotional tension they are feeling) at the expense of more long-term emotional consequences (shame, guilt, regret) or material or physical consequences (financial problems after an impulsive purchase, or losing control of a vehicle due to anger).
After becoming aware that you have been taken over by emotions (being emotionally aware is the foundation of healthy business management), how can you manage them better?
First, never act or speak in the heat of emotion. (Remember, you are deprived of part of your intelligence.)
If possible, physically remove yourself from the situation (location or person) as long as it takes to return to normal. Usually, 20 minutes of recovery time is required.
Breathe deeply 10 times in order to induce physiological relaxation. (It is difficult to get angry when you are relaxed.)
- Take time to reflect. Why does this situation, word or person bother me so much? What needs are stimulated? What values am I confronting?
- Imagine a person you admire for their good judgment (a very wise person) and ask yourself what that would person do in this situation. What advice would they give you?
- What are the consequences of these emotions on you, those around you and your work?
- How could you look at the situation differently? Is what is happening so terrible?
- Finally, in 20 years, how important will this situation be in your life?
Link to: Psycoach Toolbox No. 4 Emotional Awareness: being emotionally aware is the foundation of healthy business management
Box: In the grip of emotion, your judgment is altered. You are deprived of your ability to reason, plan and assess the consequences from various angles. In sum, you are deprived of your intelligence.
Pierrette Desrosiers,
Work Psychologist, professionnal speaker, author and business coach
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