Where goals are concerned, there are two possible sources of misfortunes: failing to reach them, and sometimes…succeeding.
Marc and Francine will soon each be 40 years old. At age 25, the couple set four important goals for themselves: to establish their family, to become leaders in their field of production, to build a house and to become millionaires.
They both reached their goals, and then some. “Yet”, admits Marc, “I’ve never been so miserable in my life.” “I’m seriously thinking about divorce”, said Francine.
After working so many years to reach their goals, and even surpass them, how do you explain how individuals can be so miserable? Reaching those goals cost them their relationship, their physical and mental health, and their relations with their children.
Marc takes many medications and relies on alcohol more and more to manage his stress. Francine survived the past five years on antidepressants. Two of their three teenagers are seriously into drugs and surf pornography sites on the Internet. In this case, a beautiful family life in the country is an urban myth.
How did Marc and Francine get to this point? Obsessed with reaching their goals without caring for their mission in life, and for what was really important, they didn’t see the signs of their demise.
The problem isn’t reaching or not reaching our goals. Reaching one’s goals doesn’t guarantee happiness any more than not reaching them guarantees unhappiness. The problem occurs when in attempting to reach those goals, we jeopardize our health, our marital relationship, our family, our integrity, and our ultimate mission in life.
A goal should not be an end in and of itself, but rather a mooring point or the means of reaching something even greater. A goal has no value if it isn’t part of a larger ideal within a mission in one’s life.
Pierrette Desrosiers
Work Psychologist, professionnal speaker, author and business coach
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