With three beautiful children, a loving wife, a very successful business and hardly any debt (yes, this breed of farmer still exists), it would seem that Marc has it all. What else could he ask for? “I don’t know why, but I feel that I’m not meant to be happy; I want more and more, and I’m never truly happy”, he admits.

 

What about you? Are you happy? Why are some people happy despite the ups and downs of life, while others seem incapable of being happy even though they have so much?

First of all, why do we do everything we do? Why do we want a bigger business, a better herd, higher production, trophies, or more money? It is because we think these things will make us happier. But do they? The answer to that is, ‘Apparently not’.

Happiness is measured by how positively we assess our overall quality of life.

But which factors determine our level of happiness? First, there appears to be a genetic predisposition to happiness. Ah yes, some individuals are born with a more optimistic temperament than others. Secondly, there are external factors such as money, success, status, and recognition. But apparently these factors we all chase after have, in fact, very little impact on our happiness. In reality, people who seek material wealth, fame or physical beauty are more likely to be anxious or depressed. Not even good health makes us happier. Indeed, health is much like money; without it we are miserable, but having it does not guarantee happiness. The only external factors that have a major impact on our happiness are our relationships with family and our significant other. Good relationships are essential to happiness, at all levels of society. Paradoxically, this is the factor on which we place the least importance. I have met prize-winning farmers with model farms and net assets that invite jealousy. However, trouble in the family or with their spouses prevents them from enjoying what they have. So wouldn’t it make sense to pay more attention to this part of our life?

Two factors that we control and that have a major impact on our happiness (yes, there still are some) are as follows:

 

  • Forgiveness: It is impossible to be truly happy if we are filled with anger and resentment. These feelings are much more harmful to our happiness than, say, Mad Cow Disease…
  • Gratitude: How can having more make us happy, if, like Marc, we are incapable of recognizing and appreciating what we already have?

 

Admittedly, it would be nice if, agriculturally-speaking, things went differently. However, it is clear that a person’s ability to accept or reject life as it is fundamental to their ability to be happy. This is tough to accept perhaps, but true.

 

So before you go to bed tonight, make a list of everything life has given you. You may go to bed a bit later than usual, but, most likely, happier too.

Pierrette Desrosiers,

Work Psychologist, professionnal speaker, author and business coach

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