We all have beliefs about other people, life and ourselves. By definition, a belief is not a fact, an absolute truth, but something we believe to be true. Our beliefs affect our attitudes and behaviour; therefore, in large part, they determine what we get out of life.

Our beliefs are the result of our education, culture, personality and experiences. Some of them are good for us and for society: the sense of right and wrong, i.e., it is wrong to steal, etc. However, several of our beliefs are limiting and even destructive. They prevent us from evolving, improving ourselves, changing situations or even adapting.

Therefore, if we want to change something in our lives, the first step is to change our beliefs. For example, Roger, a farmer in his 50s, did not know how to read and believed that, at his age, he couldn’t learn how. By changing that belief, he put in the necessary time and effort so that, two years later, he can now read and he feels freer and very proud today because of it. However, when he firmly believed that it was impossible for him, he couldn’t get started in that process.

How do I identify my harmful or limiting beliefs?

If you are obtaining clearly unsatisfactory results, if you feel limited in your development, if your self-esteem is fragile, if you feel like a prisoner of your own life, that you don’t have any control—in short, if your life is a series of dissatisfactions and disappointments, you surely hold several limiting beliefs. In fact, you are probably sabotaging your own existence unconsciously.

Some examples of limiting beliefs:

  • I can’t …
  • I’m not smart enough, good-looking enough, educated enough to…
  • Above all, I must not make any mistakes.
  • If I make a mistake, everyone will laugh at me.
  • I must please….
  • No one can be rich, healthy and happy.
  • You have to suffer in life to deserve what you have.
  • You were born to be poor.
  • Only liars and thieves get ahead.
  • Success isn’t for me.
  • That’s how I am, and I can’t change that.
  • You weren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth.
  • To change life’s results, we have to change our beliefs.

 

  1. Identify your beliefs

You have to listen to your internal dialogue. We constantly talk to ourselves, even if we are not always aware of it: “I can be such an idiot! How can I do that? It’s never going to work. I’m no good. Other people are going to think I’m ridiculous,” etc. It is undeniable that it requires considerable and continuous effort to become aware of our beliefs.

 

  1. Confront your beliefs

 

  1. Are they true? Look for proof of what you are saying. Is it true? Does everyone think that? Is it really undeniable?
  2. Are they beneficial? Does continuing to believe that make you feel good (joyful, happy, confident, peaceful)?
  3. Are they useful? Does being attached to that belief help you to accomplish your objectives in life and business? If so, keep it. If not, exchange that belief for another, more useful, one. After all, a belief is only a belief, not a truth.

 

Pierrette Desrosiers,

Work Psychologist, professionnal speaker, author and business coach

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